I have a six-year-old. When it is time for her to wake up and she is soundly asleep or when she is fully engaged in play and it is time for her to go to school, I am reminded of our human instincts to cry out and resist change. I see it in her eyes, her scrunched face and balled fists, and sometimes I even hear it in her scream, “Noooo….!”
If you have kids, you learn quickly that “transitions are hard.” As grownups and as leaders, we are no different. At almost 50 years old, I have learned not to pout or throw tantrums. But if I am paying attention to myself, changing, transitioning, and shifting gears are difficult. When it happens, I can feel at least an initial moment of resistance in my body. When acknowledging this, what do we do?
NOT ALL CHANGE IS THE SAME
Sometimes change is good. It could mean leaving one thing to do something you hope will be even better. At other times, you anticipate—or you know—the change will be bad.
Can anyone relate to this sentiment… at this moment? Is it just me? Okay.
Often, the reality lies somewhere in between. So, I pushed myself to look back at the last year of my own life to try and glean lessons for anyone who is going through a significant transition. I suspect this will be especially helpful to those wonderful people in the social sector who are navigating a leadership transition.
If it is your first year at a new organization—especially if it is your first year leading that organization—then this post is for you.
My leadership transition meant going from a community organization I had run for the last 14 years in NYC to a new CEO role at an online company helping to strengthen nonprofit leadership, individually and across the sector. I went from commuting to an office every week to walking to a desk and computer in my own home. I went from coworkers down the hall, to co-workers on Slack and Zoom. I went from a local universe to a global one. Translation? Big changes.
LESSONS FROM MY LEADERSHIP TRANSITION
There are three ingredients to any leadership transition that can be foundational to your success. First, learn from a curious place, second focus on relationship-building, and third remain flexible. What? Were you expecting something like “be data-driven, focus on results, and remain strong”? Nope, that’s not sustainable leadership nor is it usually successful for the organization. Keep reading to learn more…
IT’S ABOUT THE QUESTIONS YOU ASK
Especially in the beginning, try to increase the number of questions you ask instead of the quantity of answers you give. Chances are you have been brought in to—at a minimum—look at things with fresh eyes.
My approach at the Nonprofit Leadership Lab was to start with a semi-joke and make an inquiry like “I’m new here and so curious… Why do we do that?” I wanted (and tried) to use this for at least the first six months but people got tired of it and I had to stop after about two.
Truth is, you don’t have to caveat your questions, just ask them. Chances are you are not the only person with that question and asking questions from a curious place, not a punitive or judgemental place is how we learn and how we get to new (and potentially better) answers.
A candid observation of myself in this past year? I can think of times when I asked enough questions and times when I did not. You get more leeway in the beginning. People know you don’t know so they are open to all kinds of questions. So, asking questions is the thing that will earn you respect and get you the information you need.
Even something as simple as: “Well, what do you think about that?” Or “what do you think we should do?” can open avenues to important information you don’t have or conversations you didn’t even know you needed to have.
IT’S ALWAYS COMES BACK TO THE PEOPLE
This may be an especially unpopular sentiment in the age of AI and Chat GPT but I’m sticking to it! Human beings are the ones who actually make things happen and in order to best work with them, you need to get to know them.
When you ask searching questions, pay attention to who is open and who is freaking out. There probably won’t be an actual tantrum from anyone but there will be signs: a tensing of someone’s face, a defensive comment, or an impatience to move on.
You must focus on building relationships—especially with the key people in your new organization—regardless of whether they are open, closed, or freaking out. No one can achieve success alone and your people will be the key to your success. I am not just talking about your boss (or bosses, if you report to a board). Ask yourself: “who are the key influencers in your new organization and how can you get to know them?”
In my new dot com life, it may seem like I didn’t need to have lunch with anyone or see anyone IRL (“in real life”) but I did. And those efforts are what truly accelerated my relationship building. Whether it was lunch with Marge, our business manager and finance person in New Jersey, or breakfast with Crystal in the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. I was actually on vacation, but it was well worth it! The time to get to know people and hear their thoughts, feedback, and insights directly are invaluable.
FLEXIBILITY IS KEY
You probably have an idea of what it will be like going into your new role. If your organization or company is savvy you probably already have goals with specific, measurable benchmarks or you sure will within the first 90 days.
But the truth is you don’t truly know and won’t know until you get there. Being able to pivot is critical.
When I came to the Nonprofit Leadership Lab, I was tasked with trying to sell organizational memberships in which more than one person from an organization joins the Lab and reaps the benefits at a special rate. At the same time, another opportunity that we did not anticipate was emerging with a potential sponsor of our podcast. The more we explored, it became clear that the podcast sponsor opportunity could be game-changing for us and the partner. In other words, it demanded my time and the already written goal of selling organizational memberships would have to wait.
Everyone agreed this was the right call but it meant that we had to be flexible and re-envision things to make it work. I’m happy to say that it worked out great.
CONCLUSION
Transitions are not for the faint of heart and change can be challenging but a thriving organization (or business) and a happy child are definitely worth it.
