News flash: The world feels heavy right now. That isn’t really ‘news’ to most people. The doomscrolling isn’t helping. There are moments—more than a few—when I feel like just shutting down. But a few weekends ago, something happened that woke me up. It made me realize that shutting down is not the answer right now. I have a better idea.
Last weekend, my spouse turned 50. It was an entire weekend of celebration. Not just because that is how Jama rolls and what Jama deserves, but it was what we all needed at this time.
I realized it’s an antidote that could help many nonprofit leaders right now. Hear me out.
Our event was called “Night of 1,000 Dollys.” Jama is from Mississippi. They grew up on country music and collard greens. Conversely, I am from New York. I didn’t even know what those things truly were until I met my spouse.
The event was great for a number of reasons. First, because it had a fun theme—Dolly Parton! Imagine the hair, the boots, and the boobs. See the image of my friend Stef above, dressed as Dolly. Second, it was held in a unique local venue, Over the Moon Art Studios in Asbury Park, NJ, and we were able to support all local vendors (food, drink, cupcakes, DJ, etc.) to execute the event.
But most importantly, the special sauce of the whole thing was the people. Our community—our birth families, our chosen families, our very best friends—came from far and wide to gather and celebrate each other and this person who brings us so much joy.
Hands down, my favorite moment of the evening was when the DJ played “Pink Pony Club” by Chappell Roan. If you aren’t familiar with it, I suggest you listen to the song. It goes, “…and I heard that there’s a special place where boys and girls can all be queens every single day… I’m gonna keep on dancing.”
I am going to keep the spirit and the spark of that event inside me so that I can live and LEAD well. In fact, it reminded me that this has been a piece of my strategy whenever I face big challenges in the world.
That’s what I did during the rough times during my 14 years at the LGBT Community Center. I engaged deeply in the community and leveraged it to power my leadership. It fueled me. We fueled each other. This is what I do every day leading the Nonprofit Leadership Lab, when I go into the Village and find the people on the ground who are moving things forward and inspiring others to do the same, in spite of the current chaos and challenge.
You have to find what will work for you and your leadership during this time. So, here are some “powered by community” things to consider.
GATHER. ESPECIALLY IN PERSON.
Coming together right now is not a “nice to have.” It’s a must-have. Don’t isolate, bring people together to cry, rage, and complain. This is important, but don’t stop there.
Find joy, laughter, celebration, and ways to keep going together. Have a Zoom meeting coming up? See if that person can meet for coffee. It’s imperative for you and for your leadership.
I was able to go to another transformational gathering, a celebration of a friend and colleague who was stepping down from his big nonprofit job after 15 years. It turned out that there were so many people there I knew and loved and had not seen in a while since I left my big non-profit job. It filled me up, in a way, that lingers weeks after the event.
BE CREATIVE
You don’t need to throw a Dolly Parton-themed 50th birthday, but the old same-same won’t be as powerful. What does this moment call you and your organization to do?
You probably have board meetings and staff meetings coming up. How can they meet the moment in creative ways? Maybe it’s a good time to do a check-in at the board meeting and ask each member to share WHY they serve on the board right now. It will (re)connect each person to your mission, and I guarantee it will inspire.
For staff, perhaps people can share what they’re doing for self-care or what is keeping them going right now. It could inspire strategies for others to borrow from each other. You could even consider making it silly-fun and have people draw their answers. More than one board game requires this with hilarious results.
RAISE YOUR VOICE
Start with just you in the car singing/screaming to a song. Say it loud and say it proud! Then, join your voice with others, whether it’s to your staff, board, or community. They need to hear you, and you need to hear them.
You might not include it in a formal report or publish it in the press, but consider being more candid with your staff, board, or community where possible.
When Trump was first elected in 2016, we held a gathering at The Center to allow people to come together, and we reminded them: “My Voice Counts”.
It was so restorative to everyone involved, and those who saw the community and member-created posters lining our walls afterward. And it led to the reinvention of the Center’s advocacy program—an enduring result that lives on today.
FOCUS ON YOUR ENERGY
This is always important for leaders and for organizations, but it has never been more important than it is right now. Look at your mission, and remember the fundamental “why” of your existence.
Different organizations will have different strategies in general, and especially at this moment. Regardless of what your purpose and strategy are, I urge you to FOCUS on that. This is not the time to try and be all the things or to do all the things. You can’t possibly react to everything, nor do you want to.
Stick to your strategic vision, like a North Star, and make sure you are putting your efforts into what will fuel you and your community. We’ll get through this, like we always have, together.
So, the moral of the story is that just like a party, a community doesn’t happen by accident—it’s something we create and nurture intentionally. And in a world that can feel overwhelming, those small moments of connection are what ground us to ourselves and each other. Whether you choose to laugh, dance, or scream, start building your community.
You don’t have to do it alone. Gathering with your community will amplify your impact.
