My column this week in the Washington Blade. Thought you might enjoy it.

It has been a fascinating exercise. We won this item at a school auction. A fellow parent creates a comic book for and about our family. Through our purchase, we raised money to promote the education of our kids, but the process of considering your family as comic book characters has been quite the education.

Fellow parent and comic guru Evan has led us on a silly and yet insightful journey, asking us questions about who we are, what makes us tick, our strengths (powers), our weaknesses (our Kryptonite). These are the questions that are the therapists’ stock and trade but masked (pun intended) in the world of fantasy, they become not at all intrusive but downright fun to consider.

We talked about our 13 year old daughter Kit who has the most uncanny sense of smell. She will play the role of crime scene investigator,sniffing out danger. Her twin brother Ben is universally recognized as the nicest guy in the whole world and so his super power is clear (and unique). While it might have been obvious to offer our eldest daughter Scout (18) the role of Angelica in our Rugrats adventure, we decide instead that it is her voice that is her power. This is a woman who can make a lot of noise and can persuade anyone to do anything. Our kids determined that my power is my ability to think and behave like an eight year old (I am trying to see this in a positive light). Rounding out our family of superheroes is Eileen whose power derives from tidying.

Having shared our innermost thoughts and feelings to a man we know only reasonably well, I found myself thinking a lot about power. And about the fine line between superpowers and Kryptonite. While with Superman, they were quite distinct, I got to thinking that with real people, your power can in fact also be your Kryptonite. Could Ben’s niceness be a liability as well as an asset? Certainly. And we worry about that. The same holds true for Scout and her big mouth. And I know firsthand that Eileen’s tidying can get out of control.

After Evan left, I remembered my deadline for this column and my thoughts about superpowers strayed to my sexual orientation. I would guess that many would see this as my kryptonite. I suspect many gay and lesbian people view their sexual orientation as a liability, something to overcome. And you can certainly see why they would. Clearly our sexual orientation puts us in an unprotected minority with second class citizen status. There are still so many states in which we can be fired because of our sexual orientation. Until the Lambda Legal Supreme Court decision in the Lawrence case in 2003, many states saw us as criminals. And no one needs to remind us that our sexual orientation can put us in harm’s way.

So in this interpretation, as powerful as a gay or lesbian person may be in many ways, once his/her sexual orientation is revealed, the power begins to fade. Perhaps the revelation itself becomes our kryptonite.

I do not think so. Not for a minute.

I believe that being gay is not my kryptonite; it’s my super power. My friend Herb has a theory that we are here on this earth with a greater purpose –to model honest and authentic behavior for those around us. To illustrate that one does not have to be controlled by the expectations of others. Intriguing.

While I’m not sure I buy Herb’s theory in its entirety, what I do know is that I wouldn’t change for anything. I’m guessing that a lot of straight people are sure that if all the “gays” were given a genie in a bottle, our first wish would be to become straight. Not me. Not now. Not never.

First off there is Eileen. I can’t imagine a person on earth that I would rather spend my life with (I do joke about Meryl Streep and Julie Andrews but I don’t really mean it). And surely Eileen alone would be enough. But I think there is more.

I have a perspective and a view of the world that is clearer and enriched by my difference. I take less for granted. Eileen and I created our family with intention. We had to be bold. We had to make choices that were not easy. I came out to my parents and traveled a journey with them that enriched us all. And I am a stronger person having dealt with Eileen’s parents who, in 25 years, never spoke my name.

I am stronger, I am more outspoken, I take less for granted, I have a greater sense of purpose, I am a stronger model on issues of social justice for my kids and those around me – all because I am a lesbian.

So move over Xena. You’re not the only gay person with super powers. We all have them.

Related Posts:
• How about this flag pin?
• Trick or Vote
• World Citizens.
• Make It Work
• Kenyan Proverb
• Anyone here from Temple Ner Tamid?
• The Gun Fight at the Irma Hotel
• Buffalo Bill Cody and Scout
• This is America.
• Scout on Vacation.
• Such a punim on this cowboy.
• Everything is so beautiful here.
• Montana does not run on Dunkin'
• Charlotte VonHoffman would love it here.
• The View From the Front Door
• There is no way I am five years old in that picture.
• My New York Times 2 Piece Bathing Suit
• My dad and the New York Times.
• You Can't Fight For What You Don't Know You Don't Have.
• Out of the Mouths of "Activist" Judges.
• The "strange" New York Times Magazine cover story
• Things my mom and the Pope have in common.
• The whole flag thing got me thinking
• My op ed in this morning's Newark Star Ledger
• $3 Billion Dollars a Week.
• Barack, Tell Me About Your Peeps.
• Amy speaks for herself.
• TV's Political Pundits are even more diverse than the NY Times tells you.
• I love my friend Amy. Amy?
• Making the case against McCain. NOW.
• Jamie Lee Curtis beat me to the punch
• The eagle eye of my brother Steven.
• How could you not like THE BIG GIVE? Here's how.
• Our tribe has spoken.
• What exactly do we mean by "experience?"
• Where is Monty Hall when you need him?
• Our 13 year olds weigh in on John Edwards.
• I am a flaming liberal swing voter.
• Follow the undecided voter (me) at visiblevote08.logoonline.com
• Thanks, Mom.
• American Primary Idol
• The Biggest Loser in my house.
• The hams were Eileen's idea.
• The first female singing member of the New York City Gay Men's Chorus
• Primary custody
• Dumbledore? I was rooting for Hermione.
• Shopping at Williams Sonoma - Oh Deer.
• A Homework Assignment
• That Disney movie about the lions
• 5-10 really good moments before you die.
• Meeting your new roommate: A freshman's orientation
• Mommies Dearest
• Signs of age.
• Senator Larry Craig: Guilty of what?
• What else can George Hotz do?
• A man named Joybubbles died today.
• T minus 14 days until our daughter leaves for college.
• Why isn't Mary Cheney serving our country?
• We are all Democratic hopefuls
• A vote is not just a vote
• I drive Eileen to the train station in an SUV
• Having a fit.
• What do Eliot Spitzer and Isaiah Washington have in common?
• An exemplary samaritan
• The special gay decoder glasses
• Is Barack the best candidate to advocate for African Americans?
• Our friend Sally
• Connecting the front page to the backyard
• Hats.
• Would you call yourself a "homemaker?"
• The choir doesn't have the sheet music.
• I'm in the wrong binder again.
• The Golden Gate Bridge brought to you by...
• Value families.
• A visit to Madame Tussaud's wax museum.
• Shacking up.
• Reader comments on my most recent post.