Dec 03

The first female singing member of the New York City Gay Men’s Chorus

Posted By: joangarry

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Three years ago, I decided that I wanted to sing in a chorus. I love to sing. Always have. More importantly, I love harmony. I have always had this uncanny ability to pick out a harmony line in any song I hear (often to the chagrin of my family on long car rides). I picked up the expertise and love of harmony from my Irish tenor dad. One of his many, many gifts to me.

So I started shopping for a chorus. I wanted to be among high quality singers, and I wanted to be part of a community of people who understood the joy of singing. Last but not least, I wanted to find a chorus with a social conscience.

I didn’t have to look far. I found the perfect chorus and was anxious to audition. Only one hitch. It was a men’s chorus. The NYC Gay Men’s chorus to be specific.

Oh, to have been a fly on the wall during the board meeting in which they debated the pros and cons of allowing a woman to audition. As a community, we work so very hard to ensure that everyone is included – it must have been quite the debate. I suppose it came down to non-discrimination, I was given the green light to audition and became the first female singing member of the NYC Gay Men’s Chorus.

Maybe you are wondering what it has been like these past three years. Was I welcomed? Can I hit the notes? Do I look good in a tux? Absolutely, yes and I don’t care – it’s just fun.

It’s been a fascinating experience to be a wildly visible minority. It was really uncomfortable at first but once I focused on what we all had in common (the music), the difference began to fade into the background. (except for that time I spent an entire 25 minute break in a stall in a unisex bathroom - I got there first. I exited last)

I have grown to see that I have a unique perspective about the chorus and not just because I am female. There is that but it’s more. Maybe because I ran one of our community’s national organizations. Maybe because I appreciate the power of using your voice.

Long before many of our national organizations existed, there were gay choruses. Long before people knew that they knew gay people, there were gay choruses. Before I knew I was gay, there were gay choruses. Singing for our lives. Literally.

The men gathered because they loved to sing, they gathered to find community and they gathered because it was what they could do to make a difference in a world that was unfriendly at best and a world that, in 1980, was stealing friends and loved ones at a absolutely breathtaking pace.

The men were angry. They were scared. And the songs they chose reflected those emotions. But there was more to it than that. There were songs that celebrated the joy of being alive. The joy of being open and proud. There were songs that introduced people to the identity of gay men (yes there were show tunes) – there was fun, there was humor and a good dose of schtick. And in so doing, these men made a difference.

They still do.

This past weekend, the chorus had its annual retreat - a full court press weekend rehearsal 10 days before our Carnegie Hall concert set for December 11. There was a lot of singing. There was a lot of comraderie. There was a lot of drag (the resort in the Catskills did not know what hit it). But my favorite part of the treat is the service we conduct each year on Saturday afternoon. We talk about what the chorus means to us. We talk a lot about people who are no longer in the room. The chorus has its own memorial quilt. I appreciate this service because it reminds me that as a member of the chorus, I have a powerful voice. Literally and figuratively. I am a woman with a mission.

So in the spirit of the holidays I’d like to extend my thanks to my 258 colleagues in the NYC Gay Men’s chorus. Not just for welcoming me but for reminding me that it’s not just about Capitol Hill. And It’s not just about the Supreme Court. It can be about sharing your gifts and using your voice in the best way you know how.

Because, at the end of the day all we are looking for is harmony. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Note 1:  I’m the one in the tie.

Note 2: The chorus is a non-profit arts organization and if you are so inclined, you can easily make a donation to the chorus at www.firstgiving.com/joangarry

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