Nov 02

Primary custody

Posted By: joangarry

BROTHERS AND SISTERS

Eileen and I love Brothers and Sisters. Yet another signal that I am old. I’ve been following Patricia Wettig and Ken Olin and company since the days of Thirtysomething. It’s a heartwarming drama with lots of angst with a wonderful mother who is both loving and a bit over-the-top all at the same time. Perhaps the real draw for us now is that we relate to all the characters - not just the brothers and the sisters but increasingly, we look to Sally Field’s character to give us a glimpse of what an over-the-top mother of grown children looks like. We are sure to fall into this category.

This past week’s episode focused on the eldest daughter Sarah’s divorce. She is a high powered CEO of the family business and her soon-to-be-ex-husband has been the stay-at-home-dad for their two young children (one pictured above). The negotiations seem to be going without incident until he unloads that he wants primary custody. Oh,what drama and angst! The episode ends with Sarah’s kids walking out the door with their dad (he wins at least temporarily) and Sarah dropping to the floor, bereft - with Sally Field there beside her.

Episode ends and I hear Eileen sniffling. Now she cries at a good AT&T commercial so this is not surprising. What a good episode, she says. But I know there’s more. After 24 years, I know the look. It’s the “I want to say something but I think you are going to need to pull it out of me because it’s a little ridiculous” look.

I think for a split second and I know. After 24 years, you can predict (at least sometimes). “You are worried that I would file for primary custody, aren’t you?” Tears. Then her lip quivers and goes into this pouty sort of look that isn’t really a pout but adds to just how sad and pathetic she looks.

We have been together for 24 years. We have not, in all these years, ever separated or even considered it. I point this out and she pats her eyes and says “I know, I know.”

She points to the new bulletin board I bought yesterday. It has a white board and bulletin board capability. It lists Ben and Kit’s homework for the evening and upcoming events for today (Friday). I’ll admit - it’s impressive. (in an organized, OCD sort of way). Look at that, she says. See? I don’t do things like that. That’s primary custody material.

I make Eileen stand still and look at her intently. Eileen, I say. That wasn’t real. That was a tv show (Eileen loves tv and sometimes I think she misses this fine point). You need to stop now, I say gently.

We stand in the kitchen and review the evening’s activities. I’d been at a school meeting so Eileen was the homework supervisor. Something didn’t get done that should have. Can’t remember but I’d bet good money it was some piece of Ben’s homework. I could see that it wasn’t checked off on the white board.

We turn off the lights. In the dark as we head up the stairs, Eileen says she is sorry that Ben didn’t finish his homework. I could hear the pain in her voice. Not one to miss an opportunity, I whisper softly “primary custody!”

I could get a lot of mileage out of this.

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