I sure hope each of you reading this made an effort to see LOGO’s telecast of the Democratic Presidential hopefuls last Thursday. Great website too with thoughtful blog posts - click here. There has never been anything like it. Hats off to the Human Rights Campaign and to LOGO for making it happen. It was an evening in which we were not just a question; we were the question.

My partner Eileen and I watched with our twelve-year old son, Ben. He was into it – he pays attention to politics – he has for some time. At the age of eight, he thought all the anti-gay folks were one person - he called them “Newt Buchanan.”

Ben is very hopeful thinking about a new president who cares about gay and lesbian people. Up until this forum, Ben has been a big Obama supporter. First and most importantly, he really likes his name. Certainly folks have made voting decisions on less.

OK, he said after the forum. I’ve narrowed it down to the two very happy guys. You know, those two guys that seemed really, really happy to be with all the gay people.

If you saw the telecast, you know who Ben is talking about. If you didn’t, you can guess. Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel were happy. I mean, happy happy. Clearly the two of them need someone to vote for them so I suppose they have their eyes on us. Seems like they will only stand a chance if the voting age is lowered to 12.

So Ben will remember the happy guys. Each of us will remember something different.

A number of my friends will remember Bill Richardson fumbling a question about the origins of homosexuality. He looked surprised when Melissa Etheridge posed it. He seemed confused because he wanted to make sure he got the right answer. He should have been confused because there is no clear answer. Poor Bill. He was confused and dour. It must have been tough to follow the two happy guys.

As for me, I will remember a different moment. It was the look on Marine Staff Sergeant Eric Alva’s face when Hillary Clinton acknowledged his presence in the studio audience and continued on to tell his story - the first soldier wounded in Iraq, the recipient of a Purple Heart and a gay man. No confusion on his face; just pride. See the video for yourself - click here.

What I will remember is that one of the candidates actually said the name of a real live gay person. Why do I care about this? Because I’m tired of being referred to as an ‘issue.’ I sound like a big problem, don’t I? The gay “issue,” the marriage “issue,” the military “issue.” Well, I am not an issue and I am not abstract. I am real. And the more real stories that are told, the more real support we will build.

This kind of story telling is exactly what is missing and exactly what I hope to hear as the Democratic hopefuls continue along the campaign trail.. I want to hear a candidate tell us that in some personal way that we matter. I want to know if any of them have ever been invited to a commitment ceremony. Would they risk the photo opportunity and go anyway? I’d like one of them to come to New Jersey and talk with Nickie Brazier from UPS who was denied health benefits for her partner because “NJ law does not treat a civil unions the same as marriages.” I want Senator Obama to tell us how he would feel if his daughter, Sasha were to come out, find a life partner and choose to ‘marry’ in a Unitarian church. Would he walk her down the aisle?

As I think about it, that’s all any of us want from a presidential candidate. Not just gay and lesbian Americans but Hispanic Americans, lower income Americans, African Americans, aging Americans. We all want to know that the “hopefuls” know something about us and have taken a walk in our shoes.

It’s not a lot to ask. And it is what it will take to make everyone in my family lifelong Democratic hopefuls.

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